But with the whole team committed to every tackle and playing simple controlled football, Cian typically won the ball played in Chris who found Myles and it’s one nil to Grasshoppers. The first half finished in the same manner, with everyone doing their job and some tired legs.

The second half was the same as the first, but with Uckfield stepping up a gear and creating some great chances.  A handball in Westfield’s box led to Harry converting a precise penalty. Westfield kept up the pressure with some heart-stopping moments around Dan’s goal. They rightly deserved their goal and with everyone shouting at the ref  “How long left?”, everyone chased and ran themselves into the ground, especially Chris who had to fill the lone striker role when Myles went off injured.

Man of the Match went to Cian who I don’t think lost a single tackle, played simple composed football and made excellent use of every ball he played.  As I sat on the touchline and the referee blew his whistle at the end of the game,  I could hear every parent mutter the name Cian.  I knew what they meant.

A great game, played well by every member of the team.

This is our first match report of the 2008-2009 season. We start this report on our third game of the season, but let’s start by welcoming some new players to the team. First is Dan, a close season purchase from Maresfield and a club record fee for a keeper (10 cheeseburgers!). Our apologies to Dan as all the parents are still calling you Danny who transferred to Boston before the end of last season (for 20 cheeseburgers). We also welcome Duncan from Maresfield and our own Chris who worked hard last season in the United team and has deservedly stepped up. The first two games, against Broad Oak away and Raw Skills at home, resulted in two great victories, 8-3 and 3-1 respectively. A great start to our A League campaign and the West Park bacon rolls are also great value at £1.50!  

This week Keith had taken Harrison on an anger management course in Minorca and Phil was under the Katie thumb and not allowed to come out and play because of some unimportant family event. We always knew Phil was a mouse, but quite frankly we expected Max to have more backbone- but he too was under Katie’s malign influence and not allowed to play. That left us taking the field without both regular full backs, only one sub and two rank amateurs running the team. It wasn’t looking good and the odds were Ian and Mark having to explain defeat to Keith, who as we know doesn’t like losing. Nick and Michael went to full backs and Connor dropped in to centre back (more about Connor later).  

The game started with everyone playing their positions and working opportunities really well, Chris worked his line down the right and got some great balls into the box. We went one up when Harry typically controlled the ball with ease, looked up and placed his shot in the far corner exactly where he intended. Although we had most of the play in the first half, we didn’t convert our chances, and with some sloppy tackling, and players out of position (even more about Connor later!), we went into half time at 1-1.  “Mark you can tell Keith” was Ian’s first comment. To make matters worse, there were no bacon rolls available, which incidentally are £1.50 at West Park.  

We started the second half like a train, with a well worked goal from Chris straight from the kick off and proceeded to work hard for the next 30 mins.  A goal from Myles was wiped out after a flag from the linesman which was so late it should be employed by British Rail, and a penalty for Cian was denied on the basis that Cian had no business smashing into the defender’s boot with his knee.  It was obvious we were going to have to win the hard way.  Now for Connor.  In the first half it could be argued that he was out of position occasionally and it was a good thing that Nick knows him well enough to cover for him. But in the second half, Connor got his head or boot on every ball and played out of defence with ease. Always keen to get forward, he found himself forward at a corner and as the ball dropped just outside the eighteen yard box (not the half way line) he shaped his body, got his foot over the ball to hit a superb shot over the keeper. As Connor modestly said afterwards, “that was a brilliant goal.”  It was, but Connor- the idea is to let other people say it!   

The referee was apparently keen to get away to go up to Stamford Bridge (not to ref I hope), but he still managed to find 15 minutes of added time, during which Ridgeway scored a second in the same manner as their first, with some sloppy defending. A good game, played well by both teams, but deservedly won by Grasshoppers after a well organized and workmanlike performance. The managers were especially professional and inspiring.  Is that OK dad? 

PLAYER RATINGS  

Dan 7- had one save to make and made it !  

Nick 8 -played out of position for the team and spent most of his time covering for Connor.  

Michael 7 –Had some big boots to fill, but gave an assured performance at right back.  

Thomas 7 - another disciplined performance.  A man of few words!

Connor  9- hot and cold, this week Hot!  Zero for modesty! Man of the Match this week.  

Tom 8 - policed the midfield and chased everything down.  

Harry 8- organized prodded and probed. He won’t be rushed into a pass and gave another performance far exceeding his age.  Another cracking goal.  

Robert 6- A bit quiet by his normal standards, but still got involved before making way for Duncan.  

Chris 7 - A disciplined and hard working performance, supporting both the defence and attack.  Took his goal well.  

Duncan 6 – Came on in the second half and worked hard up the left flank.  

Myles 6 - Made his presence felt and created some great chances. Needs to go to finishing school though.  Gets the CRAP award for a quite unbelievable miss from on the goal line.  

Cian 8- Worked his socks off again in the hole between defence and attack and was involved in most of the good things we did.  

Well done lads and see you next week.  Did I mention that the bacon rolls at West Park are a snip at £1.50? 

Reporter: Taylor Mitchell

We started a little hesitantly, but always looked the better side and created the better chances.  With Danny deported and departed to

So at half time, though we were comfortable enough, Keith wasn’t best pleased and demanded more effort.  Which he got.  The second goal was as good as anything we have done all season.  The ball was played (not hoofed, played) out of defence into the midfield.  Robert showed for it 40 yards from goal, turned and played the ball into the path of Mikey’s intelligent run down the left wing.  This is where it gets good.  Robert followed up to support and hearing his call, Mike checked back, laid the simplest of balls back and then went for the space on the edge of the box- space made by Miles pulling the defenders away to the back post.  Rob played an equally simple and perfectly weighted first time ball back into Mikey’s path and Mike then provided a brilliant first time finish, curling the ball beyond the keeper and in at the far post.  What a goal.  From end to end in less that 10 seconds and less than 10 touches of the ball.  The ball was always under control, it never left the ground and all involved called for and received simple passes.  I wish I’d got it on video to send to Match of the Day.

Shortly afterwards, Miles provided a typical strong finish after some typically strong play, holding off their entire team, plus their linesman, manager and a few of their supporters.  He really can be hard to dislodge can’t he?

With the game won, Keith changed things round to give Nick, Thomas and Max a run up front.  This was interesting in two ways.  Firstly, we had the sight of Connor and Miles playing at the back, covering ground and letting nothing through, which could be very interesting for next season in the A league.  Secondly, we could admire the touch and movement of the three strikers, all of whom looked for each other, laid balls off well and chased down lost causes.  Max got his reward for a fantastically consistent season, when one slick move put him in and he finished well, beating the keeper.  Both Nick and Thomas came close, but it just wasn’t to be for them.

The players celebrated in fine style at the final whistle, with bottles of bubbly being liberally sprayed over each other and Katie’s chocolate cake disappearing faster than

Signing off, I’d just like to sum up my view of each player’s contribution over this fantastic season. 

DANNY BATES

He’s gone so I can be rude about him, except of course, he doesn’t deserve it.  Got steadily better as the season went on, made some great saves at important times and was always positive and vocal.

MAX ALDRED

Consistently excellent performer at right back, but will obviously play up front next season after his debut goal.  Nothing gets passed him and Max will just get better and better. 

HARRISON RATHBORN

Played out of position at left back, but never complained and always tried.  Scored some important goals and went missing regularly.  Always positive and a real team player, except when ignoring his dad!

NICK PARSONS

Another steady performer, who isn’t afraid to go in for a tackle or a header and has the bruises to prove it.  Nick reads the game very well and will continue to improve as he grows and gets even stronger.

THOMAS MILLER

The chalk to Nick’s cheese!  A slip of a lad who isn’t really wide enough to be a stopper, but who makes up for that with pace, a football brain and a tackle to make your hair curl.  Thomas has been excellent at the back this season.

TOM CLIFT

One minute snarling into tackles, the next crying because a big boy kicked him and the next scoring a screamer from outside the box, you get everything with Tom.  The phrase “puts himself about” seems to be appropriate.  Scored some great goals and always pulled his weight.

HARRY McLEOD

One of my three players of the season, Harry has played everywhere except in goal and has made a really important contribution to this team.  Comfortable on the ball and with excellent dead ball delivery, he has anchored the midfield, scored some great goals, set up goals for others and made goal saving tackles at the other end.  Working well with Cian in the midfield, Harry has had a major influence on every game he has played in and has rightly collected a number of MoM awards.

CIAN O’HARA

Another of my players of the season, Cian has brought a whole new meaning to the word consistent.  He covers so much ground in a game and along with Harry, makes more tackles and passes than anyone.  They have developed such an understanding together that between them, they have basically been unbeatable in the centre of midfield, which has been the engine room for the team’s success this season.  Cian epitomises that- rarely flashy but always effective and always gives 100%.  It is not a coincidence that the one game we lost this season was the game Cian missed.

ROBERT MILLER

Robert has been excellent down the left side of midfield.  He gets forward to support the strikers and has scored some brilliant and important goals.  He also has excellent stamina and gets back easily to help out his full back when needed.  Another consistent performer over the course of the season.

MICHAEL SARGEANT

Mike is the third of my players of the season.  At the beginning of the season, it is no secret that he was not one of the stronger players, but through an unfailingly positive attitude and sheer hard work, he has forced his way into the starting line up and produced some fine performances.  He always tries to play the right ball and rarely makes a wrong decision.  What he lacks in technical ability or speed he makes up for with effort and believe me, the technical ability and speed are coming!  I have two abiding memories of Michael this season.  The first is when he stood on the touchline for a game at Raw Skills, frozen and soaked to the skin in weather you wouldn’t send a polar bear out in.  He never got on the pitch, but cheered his teammates on for the whole match.  The second is his MoM performance against Pembury, capped with a goal of real quality which he thoroughly deserved.

CONNOR McCABE

Connor was our top scorer this season, including one haul of 7 in a game.  He impresses and infuriates in equal measure, one minute showing great skill and the next looking like he has never played before.  He showed he is capable of covering a lot of ground and working hard when deployed in midfield and it will be interesting to see how he copes with the step up in class next season- he certainly has the potential to succeed.

OSKAR AINLEY

Oskar has blown hot and cold this season, possibly due to lack of sleep!  He’s a Man United fan, so I won’t be saying anything nice about him, though I vividly remember one piece of brilliant skill, when he collected one of Nick’s “’Ave it!” clearances, bringing the ball down out of the air right on the touchline, before nutmegging the defender and skipping off down the line. 

TAYLOR MITCHELL

Given everything which has gone on in

MILES PANPONNE

Miles joined in the Christmas transfer window and has added both an attacking option and defensive possibilities to the team.  He has a good scoring record, with most of his goals resulting from his physical strength and willingness to attack defenders.  He has also shown that he can perform defensive and midfield duties, putting his speed and strength to good use.

I hope you’re all proud of yourselves.  I know I am!

Maresfield will either finish second or third in the league, so we knew that this would be a tough game, and so it proved.  We had the best of the first half and Harry was very unlucky to have a brilliant free kick chalked off for offside.  The otherwise excellent referee surely got that call wrong and Harry deserved the reward for a great free kick.

In the second half, as both teams tired in the heat, the game became more open, with both teams creating chances.  I’m obviously biased, but it seemed to me that we had the better of the chances, but it was a good tight game.

The turning point came half way through the second half when Michael was wiped out by a shocking challenge.  After extended treatment and surgery to mend the broken neck and fractured skull, Michael bravely staggered to his feet and asked for his mummy.  The ref produced the only yellow card we have seen in any of our games this season and Harry delivered a wicked bending free kick.  Connor, Oskar, Miles and Cian all wanted it, but they were all cruelly denied by a very unlucky defender who headed into his own net.

There was no way back for Maresfield and we held out fairly comfortably.  In fact Cian could have spectacularly finished it off when lurking at the edge of the box, but the ball just wouldn’t come down quickly enough.

So we win the league courtesy of an own goal!  Keith chose Connor as his MoM for a hardworking performance in an unfamiliar midfield role.  He won by a nose from a number of other candidates, including Harry, Cian who was back to his best and Michael who produced an excellent performance down the right, despite almost losing his head at one point- literally. 

Congratulations are due to every single one of the players and coaches of this team on a marvelous, sustained effort this season.  We lost the first game of the season, perhaps partly due to some players not being registered in time and since then we have lost none, drawn 3 and won the rest.  With that to reflect on, there can be no CRAP award this week, because quite simply, no one has done anything to earn it.  Other than Miles’ mum of course!

We now lose Danny, who flies to on Tuesday to start a new chapter in his life, so we have to face the last game of our season without the boy mountain.  Unless of course he is flying from Terminal 5, in which case he will probably still be around on Wednesday.  Danny’s parting shot was to present Connor with a very handsome new MoM trophy, which will be known as the Bates Trophy and presented by the manager to the MoM each week.  Good luck Danny (and Alan of course)- we’ll miss you.

Gentlemen, it has been a privilege to watch you this season.  If there is another group of boys who can match you for skill, speed, bravery and for just never knowing when you are beaten, then I’d like to meet them.  We’ll enjoy the last game against Pembury on Wednesday and then we’ll have a proper celebration, but as I’m writing this on Sunday night I’m raising a glass to toast Danny, Max, Harrison, Nicky, Thomas, Robert, Tom, Michael, Harry, Cian, Miles, Connor, Oskar and last, shortest, lightest, but by no means least, Taylor.  Champions one and all!

It took us a while to get the hang of trying to play passes though the various rivers running through the pitch and a few of the guys also caught their shirts and shorts on the fishing hooks of the anglers who were trout fishing around the centre circle.  But we eventually came to terms with the conditions and played the ball into the merely sodden green areas down the sides, which soon bore fruit.  Miles finished well halfway through the first half and then

Sadly we then exhibited one of our more annoying defensive traits and let Tunbridge back into the match when we repeated failed to clear and the ball eventually cannoned in off

But to be honest, at the end we were hanging on, with Robert again having to come off unwell and a lot of the others very tired in the heavy, muddy conditions.

Goals for Miles (2) and Harrison, Keith gave the MoM award to Miles for a hardworking and effective performance, with honourable mentions for Tom, Cian and Harry.  The CRAP award goes to

Two games left and one win needed.  Can we do it?  I think we all know the answer to that question.  Bring on Maresfield at the weekend.

The first half unfolded well.  We were clearly the better team and we created a number of chances for Connor to miss.  Finally, a mixture of Max and Tom released Cian who drove to the bye line and pulled back to create the simplest of chances from 6 yards which even Connor couldn’t miss.  Except he did.  In one of the most bizarre things I have ever seen on a football pitch, Connor took an almighty swipe at the ball, two East Hoathly defenders desperately threw themselves into the projected path of the ball, and the ball spun gently off the outside of Connor’s boot/ankle/shin right into Robert’s path.  Now the mean spirited among us might say that this was a fluke, but those who know better will realize that the unselfish and sumptuously talented Connor was merely toying with the defenders and setting up his teammate to demonstrate his sense of team spirit and his sympathy with Robert for having to live with Thomas all the time.  Robert didn’t care.  He just hammered the ball into the net.  At the next team meeting, I will be giving a lecture on the subject of irony!

At half time, the team was rightly confident, but we had missed a hatful of chances and Keith knew it was only a matter of time before

Things got worse a few minutes later when we failed to clear down their left flank and the ball was crossed for the simplest of finishes.  At 2-1 down, things were in danger of going badly wrong.  Robert couldn’t continue, so we were down to 11 fit players.  Fortunately one of them was Miles, who worked hard in midfield all afternoon and who late on embarked on a mazy run, resulting in an unstoppable shot from the edge of the area to get us back on level terms.  From then on there were still a few more chances at both ends, but the game ended in a second honourable draw, making East Hoathly the only team we have not beaten this season.

Goals for Robert and Miles.  Keith awarded MoM to Thomas Miller, with honourable mentions for Max, Harry and Cian and the CRAP award goes to Nick, because he let something bounce! (in joke which Nick will get!).

So we go into the last 3 games of our season knowing that 2 wins will be enough to win the league.  Bring it on!

Miles took his place on the bench, having miraculously recovered from his multiple fractured leg and was joined by Oskar, with Michael having earned his starting position with his performance the previous day.

Given our recent performances, it was no surprise to see our players brimming with confidence and we started brightly.  It quickly became clear that, if we kept our concentration, we would win the game.  Some of the football was very pretty and one of the early moves resulted in Tom, fresh from his CRAP award, bursting the net with a blistering shot from 10 yards.  (See Tom, I told you it would sound good!).  Connor followed on quickly with a typically greedy finish from a very tight angle with five teammates waiting on the goal line to tap it in.  Actually it was a well taken effort, which resulted in his immediate substitution.  Robert made it 3-0, when Oskar headed on a corner and then

At half time, we had the luxury of being able to shuffle the pack and the second half saw Miles playing at centre back, Max and Nicky pushing into midfield and Harrison and Cian having a go up front.  We added two further goals, a header from Tom and a tap in by Connor after excellent work down the right by Michael, who never stopped running, and who epitomised the character and work ethic of the team over what was a very hard and tiring weekend.

So goals for Tom (2), Connor (2), Harrison and Robert.  In Keith’s absence Phil and I chose Michael as MoM and the CRAP award went to Cian for somehow contriving to miss the target from 4 years when Mikey hit the post.  We expect Michael’s boots to be gleaming Cian.

Looking at the table, we are now top, on the same points as

Lastly, it was great to see

Man of the Match in the second game was

All in all a very satisfying day, and I believe one which should now see us top of the league at last.

Langton Green were an unknown quantity, though their league position showed them to be a useful team who have already taken points off others in the top four.  This was borne out when the game started and it was pretty even for the first period, with both teams playing some good stuff.

We broke the deadlock when Tom drove down the right and rolled the ball across the six yard box, where both Connor and Robert were homing in, but one of their defenders saved them the trouble by putting through his own goal in trying to clear.

Playing up the hill in the first half, we did well to score another when Robert finished well, but then we conceded a sloppy goal, when we allowed the ball to bounce back off the forwards and despite a great initial save by Danny, he couldn’t stop the rebound.  2-1 at half time was tight, but going downhill in the second half, we got into our stride and eased away, scoring three more well taken goals and ending up clear winners.

Goals for their centre back, Robert, Oskar, Cian and.Harry.  Keith chose Danny as his MoM, which gives an idea as to how tight this game was.  CRAP award goes to Connor for a series of misses, wild shots and incredible decision making, which had Keith screaming into his tracksuit on the touchline.

We can safely say that we have done our goal difference no harm at all, but spare a thought for Hailsham, who seem to have been getting hammered all season, but have still turned up every week and tried their best.  Hopefully they will have a better season next year.

As good as this result was, it was overshadowed by the news that